I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
