U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize