so explain again why im purple
no
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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