HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think my fart just growled at me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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