i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
