What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize