Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
