I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
