Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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