the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
