I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
be right there i have to get my cape
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
