I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
