a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize