I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize