I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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