she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
operation have a gay friend backfired
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
