I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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