Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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