Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
