Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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