Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
