Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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