is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
