I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
