Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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