your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So squirting runs in the family.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
