singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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