He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
