dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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