Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
