He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
