lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
