Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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