Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
