So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
