it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
