We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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