i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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