So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
