i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
