That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
