morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
