I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
