it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
