i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize