I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
