Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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