the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
