I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
