I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
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