i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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