i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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