your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
