I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
