brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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