i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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