My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
