I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
