he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize