Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
