a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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