Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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