thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
