she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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