Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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