"it" just moved
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
