Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
