That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize