dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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