u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I said "one day" and that day is not today
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
