the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
