Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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