Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
