She announced her abortion via fbk
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
