I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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