Dual....:-)
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
