You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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